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writing-prompt-s :
“Dear God!” You shout in the forest because you hit your foot on a root. Then a giant majestic white deer with impressive antlers appears of nowhere and says, “Yes, mortal?”
I play it off as if I was actually calling for this specific deity.
"Huh. I didn't expect that to work."
I think I recognize the voice too... No, no, it's slightly different, but it does sound remarkably similar to Voice From Song I Listened To #6. Or something.
"Why have you summoned me?" Despite me not really being able to see a smile or laughter on a deer face, the tone of the words implied it was amused by this.
So I don't actually have a reason for calling to any god. I shouted it because I STUBBED MY TOE ON A ROOT FOR THE FIFTH TIME IN A ROW. Previously I had just been saying 'Fuck' more and more angrily. I was planning on going on a whole monologue into the void, starting with 'Dear God!' but this event, naturally, stopped me in my tracks.
My foot hurts.
So. Two options. 1 : 'I forgot.' Not a good idea. 2 : Make something up. I'm not gonna be able to do that either. Probably. It has a chance of working. I'm gonna take the chance.
"Um." My speech ended there. I think I started blushing then, if I wasn't before.
It looked at me. Well it was looking at me before too, but now it was harder.
Oh my god I need more time to think. I can't say I'm lost because I'm literally standing on the trail. I can kinda see the parking lot from here.
WAIT.
CAN IT READ MY THOUGHTS? IT'S A GOD... MAYBE?
"Knock knock!" I say, panicked. Wait again. This joke might fundamentally fail because deer don't use doors. Oh god.
"Who's there?" It says, slightly amused again.
"Um, uh. Boo."
"Boo who?"
I genuinely feel like crying now. It would be a really good punchline if I did just start crying, but it might also make the GOD feel bad. Maybe.
I might be hyperventilating.
"stop crying its just a joke" I try my hardest to deliver the line without dying and it ends up just sounding monotone.
The deer god, however, does not think it is boring, and starts laughing. A lot. Maybe this was its first time hearing a joke... Which would make sense, but it knew what a knock knock joke was? I don't question it, instead I sit down on the ground. I recite more jokes from my memory and some from a stand up show I had seen recently.
The deer god loves them. I only had to explain 2 of them.
But it was dark now, so I said goodbye and left.
I think I'll be back.
I also trip on my way back to the parking lot because I did, actually, break one of my toes. This will not stop me from visiting the deer god though.
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Well. That totally makes sense.
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